Only animals can predict anything

WARNING: If you are a Christian, an HCINAFPM (Harold Camping Is Not A False Prophet Movement) member, a German football team fan, an old person, or a llama, please pretend that you are not a Christian, an HCINAFPM member, a German football team fan, an old person, or a llama  if you do not want to get offended by the following post.  But if you’re offended, that’s OK with me, too.  Peace out!

So what’s this I hear about an octorger-- , octogentr--, octrogenartr--, a really old man saying that the world is going to end soon?

According to Harold Camping, he was able to determine humanity's expiration date by multiplying 5, 10, and 17, squaring the product, and using the number he derived, counting the days from the crucifixion of a fairytale character named Jesus to get Judgement Date.  

I am almost certain he earned an erection (a miracle!) at the exact moment he realized what a genius he was.

From: Judgement Day is October 21, 2011

When an apocalypse-less May 21 passed, Camping, without even so much as batting a silver eyelash, just simply concluded that everything will be zapped off of the face of the earth in one big blow on October 21.

Harold, you smell.  Of cat poop.
From: Bilal Ashraf

Well, Campingers, don't throw away your last dollar just yet and prepare to be enlightened. 

(But if you really must buy something, get this cool shirt.)

From: I Suvived Judgement Day

The TRUTH is: Only animals can predict anything.    

Need hardcore proof?  Here are three.

PROOF #1: Frogs predict earthquake in China (Google News)

From: Unsought Input

Days before a massive earthquake hit China and left more than ‘71,000 people dead, missing, or buried in rubble’, there was an unusual mass movement of frogs and toads observed on the city streets.  A superstitious lot, most Chinese saw this as an omen of disaster, while their less intelligent cousins, surprisingly, also Chinese, thought the toads had come ‘to welcome the Beijing Olympic flame’. 

PROOF #2 : Cat predicts 50 deaths in nursing home (The Telegraph)

From: The Telegraph

Oscar used to be the most unpopular cat in the nursing home.  That is, until the humans around him realized that he is in fact doing them all a favor by helping them save electrical expenses by turning off the switch a day early on the dying victims, er, patients.

PROOF #3: 'Psychic' octopus predicts Spain to win World Cup (BBC)

From: WN

Who doesn’t know Paul the German octopus?  After he 'declared' that the Spaniards will beat the Germans during the World Cup 2010 semi-finals, his countrymen wanted to persecute him and turn him into paella, a rice dish that originated from an eastern Spanish province, for what they say is his single-faceted non-Aryan intelligence.

So, unless Camping’s miraculous 'third leg' turned out to be a tail and he is in fact what he looks like, an un-cute llama, let’s leave the sacred art of forecasting to animals.

Brothers from different mothers: H.C. vs. a llama

From: Digital BusStop, freewebs.com